I have been used and dumped so many times .

Yes I have been single since 2007 and believe me the first four years was a horror , I wondered why I wasn’t good enough , i wondered why I loved so hard but yet it was never enough , I wondered why I considered myself last ,I was depressed ,then I said to myself maybe it was because I have sinned and come short of God’s glory by dating a married man, no then I thought maybe it was because I became depressed due to constant emotional battery ,been called fat ,ugly and unattractive then, I got into comfort eating and grew more fat, then I thought maybe I don’t deserve to be happy and everyone knew I was a shameless side chick ,yes I hated myself ..Friends even indirectly laughed at me . Some said if you loose weight you will find a man , some said there’s someone out there who wouldn’t care how I looked. Some called me large in a kind way of cause.. 

It took me four years I got my mojo back , yesss I finally lost all that weight , I look like a picture in a glossy magazine I still do but you know what ? Still nobody loved me , they pretend they care but use and dump me faster than they even lied . Men lied to me ,women lied .

The one I use to think was the love of my life hates me and everything associated with me. Yes that’s my life ! 

Been alone made me realize I have to first learn to love me and believe in me ,yes I finally did and the last few years I have been lonely but happier so

 ” Don’t let society fool you into believing that if you don’t have a girlfriend or boyfriend then you’re destined for a life of misery. The Dalai Lama has been single for the last 80 years and he is one of the happiest people on earth. Stop searching for happiness in places outside of yourself, and start finding it where it has always been: within you.” 

Miya Yamanouchi, 

You are not ugly and unlovable because you are single …you just feel like that because you and I are trying to be like the purported picture the world paints on the net instead of finding love within..

Make a change and see how different things would be .

Happiness is within you find it .

Why because self love is the ultimate peace bringer and the greatest gift you can give yourself ! 

The sun is shinning beauty is within you .

#singlewomen #lookingforlove #battered 

4 thoughts on “I have been used and dumped so many times .

  1. Well , you sure have come a long way Ebony !
    You fought to be who you are today and u did it all on your own. You look gorgeous n sexy .
    For all those who tried to mess up one way or the other, trust me they do not deserve to be in your life, your too good for them . ” You don’t find your worth in a man. You find your worth within yourself and then find a man who’s worthy of you. Remember that.”

  2. πŸ™ƒπŸ˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜β˜ΊπŸ™ƒπŸ˜œfuck fake friends! Glad you’ve Got your groove back

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